How will you feel when you’re given a break after your failure? I was happy, and feeling fulfilled “this is it”! I was hired then by a Chinese businessman. On the phone talking to him he sounds nice, promising and I thought he needed me urgently; ” listen, listen, don’t waste time. So I processed my Chinese tourist visa, booked the ticket and went there. He was still in New York when I arrived I was fetched by his driver at the Gongbei Port (Macau and Guangzhou border). My job literally involves cleaning, ironing, washing and as an office staff… But didn’t aware that he was also going to use me for sexual purpose.
After 10 days he arrived to the apartment with another filipina girl. I don’t know what his business with the boss but I served her. She sleeps in the other room. He asked us to prepare so we can go for a lunch, we went for a 15 minutes drive to “cafe coral restaurant” we had lunch and went back to the apartment. He asked me to put some beddings on the other bed inside his room then the other Filipino went inside sat on his bed with her apple lappie, damn I was so happy for that she went there once finished my thing there I hurriedly went out.
That night I was reading and there was a commotion outside didn’t bothered to check what happened, then in 30 mins she knocked on my room and I let her in. She told me that the boss went with another only his shirt on no shorts with his dick exposed, he asked her to suck his dick. She refused, they fought and made him to leave her room. We had a chitchat up to 3am and we made a deal. I asked her to tell him that I have a condition, “vaginal lock”. She told him when she was brought to the hotel, until she left back to Beijing .
He was kinda pest after he was informed that. So every night he goes to Gouzhen where the hotel is, there’s a lot of hired sales rep who works for him. And there’s a girl named Jessica she’s a Chinese and I think she’s being used. Until my 1 month is almost over and he decided to no longer work for him and asked me to go back to my country.
I know why I failed there, cause I didn’t let him use me. But that’s fine I kept my self respect intact.
I was inside the bookstore when I first read the phrase “no excuses, no reasons and no limits”. It catches my attention straight away, I suddenly recorded it to my phone so I will not forget that phrase. I then recognized the need to remember that phrase because that is what I am lacking. I want to do more, with no excuses, no reason and no limits. But to understand this phrase further let’s sight this from one word to another. First for the no excuses let’s get the meaning of the word excuse here to make allowances for; judge leniently. Why it is being excuse? why we need to excuse ourselves from anything that we do? why do we need to put some excuses to the capacities, human hindrances and human limitations? I am feeling guilty already, why? because every time I fail when I am frequently yes failing with the things that I do, I put excuses to validate my failure when it shouldn’t be. Would it be right to figure out why I failed? to identify the failure and disregard the excuses? I must sight a failure that I am guilty of giving excuses. This was a very simple task, my aunt was asking me to check where is the drop box for the raffle draw here in ABS CBN, and prompted on saying yes right away and said that I will get the right information when I get back. But then what I did was forget about it and just give excuses like “auntie was not able to go there because the guard told me to go in front” when the truth was well I didn’t even gave the effort on asking the guard, yes I am a total liar. Then let’s go to the no reason, well I am so wait… how can I say this one here… I am so so guilty of! How can I expound that? well let me try looking for a proper word for this one here, oh! first degree guilty? okay fine I deserved that of course. A first degree “reason over failures” giving reasons for every failures I have. If you are going to check excuses and reasons are related to each other somehow not with the spelling that is. Okay so I first what to give the meaning of the word “reason” so the basis or motive for an action, decision, or conviction. So every failure I have before was given a reason, not accepting the adequacy of my actions, for not giving my all strength, my heart on it, and for just being the mediocre that I am really is (acceptance of the mediocrity is a reason by itself) Oh come on!! yes, it is a reason. And for the finale? No limits, here is the meaning “Informal One that approaches or exceeds certain limits, as of credibility, forbearance, or acceptability: He is the limit of irresponsibility”, yes truth. I am really giving myself a limitation if I can still go further, giving myself a bound to every movement that I do, for keeping myself in a certain boundary when nobody has the power to do it, so it is ME who imprisoned myself to the capacity, to the talent that I have and to the limitless opportunity that I can get for being free from the limits of my mind. Why I am like this? going back to what I have written it is really against me. I am excusing myself for giving excuses, then I am also giving reasons to every failure that I have, when it is also against me, and the limitations that I set to myself when it is really I who is guilty for giving myself a limitation to everything that I do. Why this is against me? why this is being unproductive? and why this is considered an enemy to personal development? Because we are hindering myself to reach my full potential, because possibilities isn’t realized because of these bad habit that is encoded for so long! Why it is just now that I have realized this, and come to recognized this disease and get cured (hopefully). I must do something to eliminate this nemesis, eliminate and exchange positive traits. Practice can be hard but it is going to be easy as long as persistence is really present. Not on an auto pilot and recognize it when it is on action and try to correct it. I am positive that it’s not yet late to change, it’s not yet late to make a correction and get some good vibes on the right things in life. And lets wait for the result al right?
All of us have treasures might it be our money, things that we have, toys for the kids, flowers for the enthusiasts, and lost of the things that we consider essential and meaningful for us.
It was really funny when I
saw the chicken with the vendor along the road, the chicken was tied up, she is white color from the looks of it the chicken is female. I observed one time when the husband scouring plastics from the garbage to sell the chicken is looking down at them like it is observing. I like the scenery, they considered their chicken is their pet like a dog, or a cat perhaps. While walking away from them to take my journey home from work I chuckled thinking “oh oh , wait until you grow up cause were going
to eat you” hehehe … mean mean me. But that’s how chicken supposed to be, or since they are living at that condition you will think a nice hot “tinola ” is very sumptuous I missed it myself them most delicious “tinola ” are native chickens, hehehe . But even if the couple will decide to consume him for a tinola or maybe adobo still she was loved, still she gave me a smile on my face by just being a pet that is very unusual to see around here in the metro. The very chicken that I will not forget the smile that cause to me for as long I as live.
BLACK — WE ARE BOTH YIN AND YANG, THERE IS NO YANG WITHOUT THE YIN… WITHOUT THE CONTRASTING DIFFERENCES ONE CANNOT EXIST. THERE’S NIGHT AND DAY, THERE’S CONSCIOUS AND UNCONSCIOUS WE MUST EMBRACE DEATH TO GAIN LIFE. THAT’S HOW IT IS. DOGMA HAS BEEN BLINDED THE PEOPLE INTO BELIEVING THAT THERE SHOULD NOT BE A DARKNESS BUT JUST LIGHT. HOW COULD THAT BE? OR EVERYTHING WAS EDITED TO SUIT THE PEOPLE’S IGNORANCE? THE LIFE FORCE WHICH WE BELIEVED TO BE A SOUL IS JUST RECYCLING UNTIL WE HAVE REACHED THE FINAL STAGE OF OUR GOAL. WHEN I WATCHED THE VIDEO OF DAVID WILCOCK, I REALIZED SOMETHING; JESUS WAS TRYING TO SYMBOLICALLY EXPLAINED THAT IF WE ARE SHOWING THE COMPASION LIKE “AGAPE” OR LOVE IN ENGLISH TERM AND SERVICE TO THE PEOPLE WE ARE GOING TO HEAVEN OR TO THE HIGHEST PLANE. IT IS REALLY HARD TO BELIEVE THINGS THAT WAS TAUGHT TO US WHEN WE DONT EVEN CARE TO VALIDATE ITS AUTHENTICITY. YES WE CAN PROVED THAT JESUS INDEED APPEARED DURING HIS TIME BUT WE CANNOT TELL FOR SURE IF HE WAS REALLY THE SON OF GOD. HIS DISAPPEARANCE IN THE BIBLE CAN BE THE ANSWER THAT HE’S BEEN DESOLATED FOR SO MANY YEARS BEFORE COMING BACK TO THE NINEVEH, BEFORE HE EVEN TRIED TO PREACH, AND BEFORE EVEN CLAIMING THAT HE WAS THE SON OF GOD. REFLECTED TO MYSELF IS THE DIFFERENCE HOW I HAVE CONSIDERED DIFFERENT TO THE PEOPLE AROUND ME, FROM MY RELATIVES, FRIENDS DOWN TO THE LAST PERSON HERE THERE AND WHATEVER. I HAVE INVOCATED THE DEMONS (hahaha) YES I DID, BUT SO FAR NO DEMONS IN SIGHT BUT THERE WAS A SMOKE THOUGH WELL THAT WAS KIND THE WEIRD BECAUSE ALL THE WINDOWS ARE CLOSED BUT THE SMOKE FROM THE INCENSE JUST DANCE LIKE CRAZY. ANY HOW I DON’T KNOW EXACTLY WHAT I AM UP TO, LIKE BELIEVING THE LILITH AS MY GUARDIAN OR SOMETHING OR OROBAS? THEY ARE MY CHOICES. IF YOU ARE GOING TO READ THE GOETIA LILITH WAS PORTRAYED AS A MEAN DEMON THAT CAN REALLY HURT YOU AND VERY BEAUTIFUL THAT IT CAN MAKE YOU FORGET THAT SHE WAS LIKENED TO A MONSTER. IF YOU WILL CONSIDER EVE WAS FAR MORE EVIL THAN LILITH, SHE WAS THE REASON WHY THEY’VE BEEN CAST OUT OF EDEN, THE TWIST ON THAT STORY IS INTERESTING DUE FOR THE FACT THAT IT WAS REALLY LILITH WHO CONVINCED EVE TO TRY THE FRUIT OF KNOWLEDGE AND GIVE SOME TO ADAM. WHERE IS THE COMPLETE CREATION OF WHOEVER CREATED US? NOT EVEN THE ANGELS WAS ABLE TO STOP THEMSELVES FROM COPULATING WITH HUMAN MAIDENS. THE DARK MATTER THAT IS BELIEVED BY ASTRONOMERS TO BE THE STICKY GLUE THAT HOLDS THE UNIVERSE TOGETHER IS CALLED ” DARK-MATTER”. NOW WHY BLACK IS MY FAVOURITE COLOR? BECAUSE ILL APPRECIATE OTHER COLORS MORE, BECAUSE FROM DARKNESS I COMES LIGHT NOT END OF THE TUNNEL BUT THE LIGHT WITHIN ME THAT CAN BECOME THE LIGHT FOR OTHERS TOO. DARKNESS AND IS BALANCE TO THIS WORLD.
There are many things in this world that we can write, it has 4 elements life water, air, earth, and fire. We just need to look around and be inspired to what you have observed. But what if you are worried about the things that you need to create a visualization of what you have observed, the knack of writing, and the bleeding nose? These can be all regarded as excuses of not able to write, the cowardliness, and simply the laziness. I was checking the dashboard, the profile and editing them. Waiting for the decision to push me to write and what to write.
Writing is the expression from the soul. It is the spirit that will lingers even we have gone, it will leave as your footprint and a mark to this earth. You will be remembered with your works and artistry… We have been the witness of the past artist, writers, poets, composers, inventors, discoverers and painters. They have become the inspirations of present day aspires that hoping we can be like them or exceeds their works and contributions to our human mastery.
Writing comes with a vibrant imagination, without it we cannot create thoughts or form words from our mind. How could I let myself missed the English subject lessons?! And now I am struggling with composing the right grammar. Most of what I have learned somehow a product from personal study, exposure to the communication job and reading. What pushed me is my passion to the topics that I want to share, the rant’s that I want to be heard and the thoughts that is hidden inside my expression of love, hate and life.
Now that I am finally a Yahoo Contributor, it is not only for the financial gain but the passion of writing, so let’s enjoy, let our imagination run, let words be our colors, lets paint the world with it and dance with the tune of human celebrations, events, places and happenings!
I am thinking and I really want to express this: There are times when you are going to miss the previous routines that you are used doing. When you can still jog, talk and walk with a friend, hang around and sit during the sunset on the beach with your friends and your family? I miss those times when you laughed around with your mom, sister and kids? Those were the times and I’ll treasure it very much.
But aside from the past, I also imagine life ahead wondering what will it be? I stopped and just learned how to let go and let life show the way. Dream can be a very good cliché’s, one step at a time. No matter how hard it is as long as you are motivated and remember why you even took the first step then you are in the right track. No matter the results remember that you tried.
Life at times often sucks. But depends on how you carry the weight, depends on how you have taken it lightly and never mind about it. The problem with me is that I am too serious, I don’t even know if is right or wrong. There are instances that it can be right and there are times it is not even applicable. Now I must learn how to relax… I must enjoy life, give everything but never expect.
Life indeed is short to be taken seriously… we must enjoy it every drop of its tick, every passing sun and every blow of its wind. We must learn how to grasp every blow and every passing waves then learn how to ride with it like riding a leaf floating up to the sky! We must know how to imagine, exploit every talent, invent and manifest opportunities that life can give.
It is better now because I am free… And everything will follow.